Regrets and Second Chances
by sapphermine
Summary: [XOver w/ ST2009. AU. Set years after the events of Season 3] Lucas has been granted three wishes by a very powerful being. Lucas, though, doesn't use those wishes very well. He runs to Bridger, hoping to at least spend his last moments in the company of the people he cares most. But everyone gets second chances, even if it doesn't seem that way at the time.
1. Suspend Disbelief

Disclaimer: If seaQuest and its characters were mine, no one in the first season would have left, characters would have developed more and Lucas would have gotten a haircut in the third season. Not to mention, it would still be running until Bridger becomes an Admiral and Lucas gets to captain his own boat.

I have only known seaQuest for a measly two weeks now so I don't presume to know all of its characters' quirks and habits. I wrote this because, though it's been a mind-boggling ten years now, Jonathan Brandis' death hit me real hard. And once I learned that Roy's gone as well, my strange desire of writing reunions and happy endings kicked in and this was born. Jonathan Brandis was a star in his own right back in the day, and though he didn't get as much screen time after seaQuest, I think that if he just held on he would've come back better and brighter. Ending his life was a stupid, stupid thing because talent is talent and he had that in _bucket loads it's unbelievable_ and life, ever so subtly, always gives us second chances.

I will remember you in your greatest moments, JB. This one's for you and for all of us fans –past, present and future—that you've left behind.

* * *

**Regrets and Second Chances  
Chapter One: Suspend Disbelief**

It was a stormy night.

Former Captain Nathan Hale Bridger of the seaQuest hurriedly boarded his windows, knowing from experience that strong gusts of wind and his scattered notes do not agree with each other. True, he had his computers to store his data in, but notes on paper had its charms as well. For one, it wouldn't suddenly die on you without any kind of explanation. He was proficient with computers, he had to be, but trouble-shooting was just not his forte.

That had been one young man's—a young man he couldn't completely forget, not even after all these years. Lucas, _Lieutenant_ Wolenczak now, had been a son to him in all but blood after all.

But that had been _before_. Before the whole mess in Hyperion. Before they returned miraculously back on Earth. Before Lucas enlisted in the Navy. Before the two of them had become so busy with their own lives that communication simply stopped.

Nathan hadn't heard from Lucas in two years. Of course, he knew he could have called, made the effort, held a hand out for the young man, but he didn't. There were nights when Nathan Bridger just _wished_ that things hadn't ended up this way. Because, despite his attempts at ignoring it, he still felt like he lost another son.

He had found the one he had been looking for, true. But was his luck so shitty that he had to lose the other too?

Shaking his head to clear the thoughts away, Nathan made his way into his kitchen and served himself some coffee, knowing that despite the caffeine in it, drinking would give him much comfort. Most other men would have chosen alcohol, but after years in the military, and a year or two spending time with an impressionable young computer whiz, who seemed to soak up everything like a sponge, Nathan had learned to veer away from that temptation.

Nathan snorted to himself. Even when he was actively trying to forget about Lucas, he couldn't. There was just something about that boy that _drew _others to him like moths to a flame. That boy has become a man now, far from the once immature but golden-hearted boy he had gotten to know during the seaQuest's first tour. But like Robert, Lucas would never cease to be that child for him.

Sipping the coffee gingerly, Nathan thought about his regrets. Two tours just weren't enough with that child. Even though they spent years on the same submarine together, Nathan still felt that he should have spent more time with Lucas. Because if he did, perhaps he wouldn't miss the boy so damn much. Perhaps his chest wouldn't constrict with so much regret whenever thoughts of the blonde haired, baby blue-eyed boy came across his mind. Perhaps they wouldn't have drifted far apart so quickly; so quickly that he hadn't even realized it until he saw the boy again, a young man then, and he almost didn't recognize him.

If he could just turn back time…

A loud bang suddenly reverberated through the house. Tensing immediately, his body instantly ready for action, honed in his years of service, Nathan carefully placed his mug down and listened. He was a retired man, twice now. And he only did research, though yes, still in behalf of the UEO, but that didn't mean that his research was important. It certainly wasn't classified information. And though yes, he may still have enemies, but Nathan didn't think they'd come all the way here just to kill him.

Nathan Hale Bridger wasn't important anymore, after all.

The sound reverberated through the house again, and Nathan couldn't help but roll his eyes at himself. Blaming his paranoia on his years in the Navy (or perhaps more on his two tours aboard the seaQuest), Nathan made his way to his front door. The sound, paranoia aside, was just the sound of someone knocking on his door. A stupid someone though, because who, in their right mind, would brave this kind of weather just to bother him?

It couldn't be Robert; Nathan had just talked to him and his family over vidphone a few hours ago. And this was his _island_. No one else had been here since Bill visited. Eyeing the door and noting how the knocking became more and more urgent, Nathan thought about protecting himself against this stranger but decided against it. If this someone wanted to hurt him, he wouldn't be knocking on his door, would he?

As the knocking grew louder, Nathan rolled his eyes and yelled, "Yes! Hold on a minute!"

Immediately, the knocking ceased. Nathan stood still for a moment, waiting for his surprise visitor's reply, but none came. Shrugging, he began opening the many locks he had on his door. And as the last lock slid open, Nathan's eyes grew wide at the sound of the stranger's voice, "You know, _Captain_, this sure is one long minute."

It has been many, many, many years since someone has called him Captain. And it has been many, many, many years, but Nathan would never forget the sound of that voice.

Wrenching the door open, Nathan gaped at his unexpected visitor.

Perhaps his luck wasn't that shitty after all. And perhaps people do get second chances. And yes, maybe time could be turned back. Hell, maybe dolphins could fly after all! Because standing outside his door, sopping wet from the storm, was Lucas Wolenczak. Not Lieutenant Wolenczak, not even Ensign Wolenczak. Just Lucas. For the Lucas standing before him looked _exactly the same_ as the boy he met during the first tour of the seaQuest.

"Hiya, Capt'n! Ya miss me?"

What in the world was going on here?

* * *

AN: The crossover part will be apparent in the last chapters, probably. But I've left some clues here and there. And chapter two is done and ready for posting. But please do leave feedback :D

Thank you for reading!


	2. Back Home

Disclaimer: If seaQuest and its characters were mine, there would be a movie in production right now. Jon and Roy obviously can't be there, but there will lots and lots and _lots_ of references about their accomplishments so that it feels as if _they are_ there.

I will remember you in your greatest moments, JB. This one's for you and for all of us fans –past, present and future—that you've left behind.

**Regrets and Second Chances**

**Chapter Two: Back Home**

_It has been many, many, many years since someone has called him Captain. And it has been many, many, many years, but Nathan would never forget the sound of that voice._

_Wrenching the door open, Nathan gaped at his unexpected visitor._

_Perhaps his luck wasn't that shitty after all. And perhaps people do get second chances. And yes, maybe time could be turned back. Hell, maybe dolphins could fly after all! Because standing outside his door, sopping wet from the storm, was Lucas Wolenczack. Not Lieutenant Wolenczack, not even Ensign Wolenczack. Just Lucas. For the Lucas standing before him looked exactly the same as the boy he met during the first tour of the seaQuest._

"_Hiya, Capt'n! Ya miss me?"_

_What in the world was going on here?_

* * *

Bridger couldn't believe what he was seeing in front of him. Was he dreaming? Perhaps he hit his head on the table while dancing around the room trying to close the windows. Or perhaps he was dying and he was hallucinating about the many regrets in his life, which then materialized in the form of Lucas Wolenczak. Not surprising, really, as he had been worrying about the young man lately, what with the conflict with Macronesia and the on-going battles happening beneath the surface. But still, to come to him in the form of the sixteen year old boy he quickly took under his wing and then lost, was just too painful.

"Are you gonna let me in, Captain? I could get hypothermia out here, you know!"

The Lucas in front of him was smiling that same mischievous smile he wore constantly, back in the days when seaQuest had merely been a scientific and peace-keeping vessel. The last time Nathan saw Lucas, he hadn't been wearing this smile. In fact, Ben and Tim and Miguel and Tony, even Jonathan and Katie—they all mentioned how Lucas hadn't been smiling at all. Nathan had brushed it off back then, suggesting instead that perhaps the boy had finally grown up, had matured into the man they all hoped he'd become. And oh, how he did grow up to be the man they all knew he'd be! He was the best, _is_ the best. Better even than Nathan himself when he was at that rank.

But now, seeing that sparkle back in the boy's eyes, seeing that wide, wide grin on the Lucas in front of him, finally made Nathan realize how much he _missed_ it.

How often had Lucas' easy-going attitude, his ready smile and lively spirit made him relax, think clearly, or gave him the will to move on? How often had he looked into Lucas' deep blues and found strength, courage and hope and boundless joy?

They were all missing now.

This was what his ex-officers had been trying to tell him back then. The Lucas they all knew and, yes, _loved_ had disappeared.

Perhaps this was a dream, an early Christmas spirit perhaps, come to kick him where it hurts so that he could _do_ something about it.

"…Captain? Are you okay?"

No. He was far from okay. He just realized how much of an idiot he'd been, hiding in this island, waiting, waiting and waiting for Lucas to call, to come to him without even realizing that Lucas couldn't. Because Nathan couldn't even _see _how much the young man was hurting.

Lucas had given him his life back. And in return, he swore to protect this child; this child who was filled with so much life that everyone he met was touched and changed by it. But what a failure he was.

"Captain? Captain, look," Lucas began, shrugging helplessly, "I can explain. I know this may sound strange but—,"

Ah, there was that pleading look in the boy's eyes again, the one that told Nathan that Lucas had done something he wasn't supposed to do but did anyway because he thought it was right and that he was worried that Nathan would be disappointed in him. He'd always told Lucas that he was a really bad liar. Nathan never told him that he was horrible at it because his eyes always gave him away. Even after all these years, he could still read the boy like an open book and—

Nathan couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. He laughed and laughed and laughed until he was wheezing from lack of oxygen, until his eyes burned and tears began to fall.

"Captain?"

Ah, Lucas was worried now. Nathan could tell simply by the tone of his voice.

Abruptly, he stopped his hysterical laughter and, breathing hard, took in the sight of the boy in front of him. If this was a miracle, a do over, a second chance, whether it was by devil or by god, Nathan would take it in a heartbeat.

Reaching out, he quickly took the boy and held him in his arms. Lucas, in turn, wrapped his own wiry arms around him, head burrowed in his chest, in his heart, where the boy always belonged. Nathan could feel him trembling, could feel the sobs wracking through his body and in response, Nathan held him tighter, closer, hoping to give as much comfort as he can. Leaning his cheek against Lucas' head, Nathan breathed in the boy, held him even tighter, and allowed years and years of sorrow and regret, of missed opportunities and moments, to come pouring out in the form of tears.

And finally, when all that was spent and resolved, Nathan found himself smiling. Gently, but hesitantly, instantly missing the warmth of Lucas, he separated himself from the boy, though both his hands remained on Lucas' shoulders. Bowing his head to catch Lucas' eyes, he smiled widely at him, brushing stray strands of hair as he said, "You never tire of giving me headaches, do you?"

Lucas had been nervous for a while, wondering what his Captain would say, but when he heard Nathan's words, that same blinding smile made his way across his face and never left. Laughing even as he cried tears of joy, Lucas nevertheless managed to say, "It's really good to see you, Captain."

To which Nathan tearfully, but happily replied with, "It's good to have you home, kiddo."


	3. Three Wishes

Disclaimer: If seaQuest and its characters were mine, the only aliens would've been Vulcans, Klingons and Romulans. Hyperion would be Earth, Stardate 2255, where Lucas Wolenczack is recruited (forcefully) by Captain Bridger to enlist in Starfleet and challenges him to finish in four years, to which he cockily replies that he'll finish the Academy in three. If not that, then they still end up in Earth, Stardate 2255, where Lucas meets Kirk and all hell breaks loose—but not really, because Captains Bridger and Pike would be there to make them clean up their messes.

I will remember you in your greatest moments, JB. This one's for you and for all of us fans—past, present and future—that you've left behind.

**Regrets and Second Chances  
Chapter Three: Three Wishes (i.e. wherein things go very, very bad)**

_Lucas had been nervous for a while, wondering what his Captain would say, but when he heard Nathan's words, that same blinding smile made his way across his face and never left. Laughing even as he cried tears of joy, Lucas nevertheless managed to say, "It's really good to see you, Captain."_

_To which Nathan tearfully, but happily replied with, "It's good to have you home, kiddo."_

* * *

"Captain, are you sure you're okay?" Lucas, in his sixteen year old self, asked worriedly, "You've been real quiet, you're scaring even me."

Nathan would've liked to say something. But what could he say after hearing something like that? Whoever, or whatever, gave him this second chance had definitely screwed him over and he wanted to give it back—except, not really, because no matter how short this second chance was, this was still Lucas.

He still felt cheated though.

"Captain?"

One week. He had one measly week. Less than, even, subtracting the three days it took for Lucas to get here. How can four days make up for a lifetime?

"Three wishes, huh?"

Lucas looked up at him sharply then, eyeing him worriedly from the opposite couch, "Yeah, Cap. Hard to believe, right? I mean, at first I thought he was screwing with me. Sure, we've met aliens and stuff, but having power to grant three wishes, and _any_ kind of wish at that, without payment, without selling my soul or signing any contracts? All because I freed him from a box? It doesn't even sound like a fairytale, right? So," he shrugged as he turned away, unable to look at Nathan, "I just told him what I wanted."

Angry and frustrated and deeply, thoroughly disappointed, not at Lucas but at himself, but unable to channel it properly, Nathan stood up and yelled, "So you just wished whatever made your fancy?! What the hell were you thinking, Lucas! Or were you even thinking at all?!"

Glaring at Nathan, Lucas angrily replied, "I'm sorry, okay! I'm sorry!" But his shoulders immediately sagged, and his eyes became mournful once again, head bowed at the weight of his three, seemingly harmless, wishes—at least, they had been, before the first two began to come true.

Nathan's own anger was replaced by grief as he watched Lucas fall apart in front of him.

"I just… It just seemed the right thing at the time," Lucas whispered, in a tone that Nathan knew meant that Lucas was deeply ashamed of himself. Lucas looked up at him after a while, the saddest smile playing on his lips, "It should've been a happy moment. There were strange readings on the sea floor so I ordered for a few WSKRS to investigate it. Captain Hudson wasn't happy, I should tell you, but I managed to persuade him to check it out. A threat wasn't imminent at the time and we were all so bored out of our minds… He agreed eventually and well, that's where we found the box," Lucas said, and then his eyes lit up nearly the same as when he excitedly used to explain his new pet projects, "It was _exactly_ four feet all around, which is strange, right? I mean, I know we've got machines to make boxes that precise but this one, this one was _ancient_. I couldn't even get a good read on it when I carbon dated the thing. There was just no reference. It could've existed even before the dinosaurs, even before the first creature rose from the seas. It was _amazing_, Captain," then the smile completely vanished, "I was so happy, so elated at we found, at what I could discover in the future, when I realized that it wasn't my life anymore. That I wasn't the same person I was. That seaQuest itself wasn't the seaQuest I used to call home. And that everyone I cared about wasn't there with me anymore.

"I thought being on seaQuest was enough. It's why I enlisted in the first place," Lucas softly admitted, "But it wasn't. seaQuest itself wasn't home. It was in every one of you, sir."

A fact Nathan held on to when he gave up his captaincy of the seaQuest. Instead of displaying his disappointment over Lucas' decision to enlist, Nathan could've asked him why he did it. Perhaps they wouldn't even be having this conversation. Perhaps Lucas would've continued to have that mischievous spirit burning inside of him. Perhaps Nathan wouldn't be losing Lucas like this.

"That's why my first wish was, 'I wish I was sixteen again'. It was the beginning of the greatest and happiest moments of my life, short though it was and scary as hell at times, but I wanted to have that back."

Nathan sat back down this time, knowing that he wouldn't like what Lucas was about to explain next.

"And then I followed it up with, 'I wish I wasn't on seaQuest anymore', and finished with, 'I wish I didn't exist in this universe'," Lucas's faraway look told Nathan that he deeply regretted what he'd done but couldn't do anything about it anymore. This was the look that meant that Lucas had given up. Nathan remembers this one well, because Lucas had only worn it once—it was the look Lucas gave him when they parted ways: Lucas, back on seaQuest; Nathan, away from the one person left in his life that never failed to give him much, much joy.

Chucking mirthlessly, Lucas shook his head as he said, "You're right. I wasn't thinking. I mean, wishing to not exist? That's stupid, right? And it doesn't even sound cool at all. But to tell you the truth, I think I haven't been right in the head long before that. Everyone else had the courage to start living new lives and I… I was just, _there_. Stuck in a place that used to be home, haunted almost every day by memories of what used to be. I felt alone and forgotten and it made me so angry at everyone that I just _closed off_."

Taking a deep, shuddering breath, Lucas bit his lip as he continued, "And then I started feeling nothing. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. I mean, I was good. Everybody kept telling me that. Even Hudson thought I'd be able to own my own boat in a couple of months—the youngest captain ever, he said. But," he said, sighing resignedly, "None of that really mattered, if none of you were there."

"Lucas," Nathan gently interjected, "Why didn't you tell anyone? If you told someone, anyone at all, you know we all would have dropped everything just to be with you, right?"

But Lucas just shrugged, "It didn't feel that way at the time."

And if Lucas' eyes were to be believed, then Nathan was sure the boy still felt that way.

"The wishes… I never thought he could actually make them happen," Lucas whispered, eyes pleading for Nathan to believe him.

And Nathan wanted to, he really, truly did, but, "Back then, you still wanted them to come true, didn't you?"

Lucas could only nod. "I'm a coward, and an idiot, and a selfish bastard for choosing the easy way out," said Lucas, his eyes filled with so much despair when he looked at Nathan, "And I know it doesn't make a difference now but, I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry."

Nathan had failed many, many times in his life. But this, _this_ was proving to be his greatest failure of all. He was going to lose Lucas in four days because some _being _thought it was nice to repay Lucas for his freedom for three wishes. But his failure wasn't in Lucas' poor choice of wishes. It was the fact that Lucas had even _entertained_ the idea of taking his life away, because _'nothing mattered anymore'_.

Nathan could only sigh in resignation. What greater failure could there possibly be?

* * *

**tbc**

meh. this didn't turn out the way i wanted it to, but it still had to be done.

_guest_, i promise to write it till the bitter end. thank you so much for the kind words! they really made my day. i truly hope this one didn't disappoint!

and _Carma3_, i hope this hasn't disappointed you either!


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